REGRET OR MOVE FORWARD, CHOOSE ONE


27 Apr
27Apr

Story: Mario was about to take one of the most important decisions in his life. He has been analysing pros and cons, making lists, asking around, listening to his heart and still, no winner. He had received an amazing opportunity in another country and when he gave the news in his current job, he was offered a raise. He decided to stay with his current job because he was used to it. After three months he found out that the company that offered him this new job was having such a success that we would have earned much more than he was doing right now. He regretted not taking that opportunity his whole life.

In every moment of your life, there is a decision to make. There can be small and so insignificant that you didn't even realise that you were making one. Starting the coffee machine before or after taking the jam from the fridge; Plugging the phone before or after brushing your teeth; Doing the dishes before or after the movie ends; etc.

Normally we don't spend time thinking about every detail, every consequence that comes with the decision taken. Most of the times we act following the sequential order how things come to our mind: I need coffee and I am hungry; My battery is almost dead and time to go to sleep; Let's clean up and finish the movie; etc.

Unfortunately, that's not always the case. Sometimes we deal with a situation where we really need to take a closer look to details, consequences, etc. because there is a lot at stake. What do we usually do here? We make a list of pros and cons, we ask our family or friends for advice, we meditate, we think about every possible thing that may or may not happen. We enter into the "World of What if'" and let our minds ramble.

So far, so good. We are taking our time to make a decision. We are trying to get all the information we can possibly get. We have mixed feelings but in general terms we are happy. Analysing possible outcomes, possible scenarios and choosing always the better one for our end goal.

We finally do it. We make the decision. What happens next? 

Well, depends on the outcome, right? - NO. It does not.

The most common problem when we make decisions is that we do not get out of the "World of What if" after choosing which path to follow. It's completely normal to enter that world BEFORE choosing what to do. We do need to balance possible outcomes, think about what brings what, what causes what, etc. However, all this information is normally hypothetic. That means, we do not know anything for sure. It is not real. 

Let's put an example: You need to decide whether you buy that holidays package or you wait to see if the price drops. Sounds familiar? When we are thinking about this situation, we think: what if the price drops? what if it increases? what if they run out of rooms? what if there is bad weather? what if... what if... what if...

We decide to buy it after three hours of mind rambling. We do it. We buy it.

Two weeks after we see that the price dropped to half and that will be bad weather on the week we bought. Then we start regretting the decision we took. 

Do you see the problem? Take a closer look with me and answer this questions.

Did you know that the price would drop? Did you know that the weather would change so drastically? What if the price would have increased? Would you be now happier? Next time you will wait right? What happens then if the price doubles? Or if you don't get rooms?

Your emotions changed depending on the questions. However, the situation is the same. You did not know what would happen. You chose the best option available.

As soon as we make the decision we do need to get out of the "World of What if". The reason is because you can't stay in that world knowing more information that you knew when you entered. In other words, the "what if the price drops" has changed to "the price has dropped". So stop telling yourself what you should have done and start reacting to what you have already done. That means, enjoy your holiday package.

The game we enter when we believe we made the wrong decision is very dangerous because we tend to play it only one direction. We tell ourselves that the other option would have been better, we would be now happier. That is not a reality and that game can be played also in the other direction. The other option could have been much worse, we could be much sadder.

When you make a decision, you take into consideration all hypothetic scenarios and choose the option which you think would bring you the best outcome. Some people will say that may or not happen, but not me. I like to think that the option I have chose is bringing me the best possible outcome. Why? Because you will never know what would have happened in the other option. So it's you call, to regret or to move forward.


Story: Mario was about to take one of the most important decisions in his life. He has been analysing pros and cons, making lists, asking around, listening to his heart and still, no winner. He had received an amazing opportunity in another country and when he gave the news in his current job, he was offered a raise. He decided to stay with his current job because he was used to it. After three months he found out that the company that offered him this new job was having such a success that we would have earned much more than he was doing right now. He was very happy with the raised he got. He wasn't sure if he would have fit in that company or if this success will last. So he had no regrets.

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